Winning Through Intimidation by Robert J. Ringer is one of the top 15 books I’d recommend for business people to read. I first found out about this book in the 1990s, and my initial response was, “I don’t want to win through intimidation.” Although it’s catchy, the title is a bit misleading.
The author tells stories through the metaphor of “Screw U” university and defines the 3 types of intimidators—people who show up in your life who will cause you to lose. A big idea in the book is to stop assuming people have your best interests in mind, because they don’t.
The 3 types of intimidators are:
- People who openly act in their own self-interest and basically give zero sh#ts about you.
- People who work behind your back to cut you out. They say one thing to you, but behind your back they’re very much working against you.
- People, who despite their best intentions, cut you out regardless.
All three types are dangerous.
In this episode, Steph Tuss and I discuss:
- How Winning Through Intimidation translates to business and how, in any financial transaction, the person who’s most intimidated will earn the least
- How you can avoid being intimidated and losing
- Why you should stop assuming that just because someone’s “nice” to you, they have your best interest in mind (they don’t)
- The importance of looking at a person’s “performance data” before you blindly trust them (which from the book, Trust, by Iyanla Vanzant)
- Why you should make decisions based on performance data—not on what people are constantly telling you
- How “triangulation” is key part of someone’s psychology who has narcissist borderline personality disorder—they feel like a terrible person inside and are constantly trying to see how many pawns they can move in their favor, so that they don’t feel like a terrible person
- How many business owners hire people who are either “them” or someone below them—rather than looking for the absolute best that they could hire to move them forward
If you feel intimidated by someone, it’s either because your self-esteem is low, or you see yourself as “below” that person. This book helps bring you up, so that you see yourself as an equal.
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