“Being nice” is one of the biggest con jobs that people do. Nice is not a virtue or a value (being kind is)—and yet we’re raised with the idea of being nice. The word “nice” can have a detrimental effect on the people who use it, as well as on the people who are used by it.
Today I’m teaching from Jordan Peterson’s book, 12 Rules for Life. In it, he says that, “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, or loving your neighbor as yourself” has nothing to do with being nice.
In today’s episode you’ll learn:
- You don’t belong to yourself—you belong to God—and you should not bully, torture, or mistreat yourself
- Mistreating yourself can have catastrophic consequences for others (e.g., a suicide)
- You’re important; you matter—and what you think and say is important, even if you’re wrong
- If you don’t ever express yourself and allow yourself to be wrong, it becomes very difficult for you to learn
- You don’t learn anything if your goal is to “be perfect or don’t show up at all”
- Voluntarily accepting somebody else’s opinion or expertise without question is dangerous
Peterson says, “We are low resolution versions of God, and we can make order from chaos and vice versa…It is not virtuous to be victimized by a bully, even if that bully you.”
When you tell yourself, “I can’t get myself to do this, that, or the other,” you’re abusing yourself—because you’re making yourself less than your capabilities; you’re experiencing less than your possibilities.
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