Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably seen the video of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscar’s—after Chris made a poor joke about Will’s wife, Jada. Will began screaming, “Keep my wife’s name out your effing mouth!” For 24 hours this incident became more popular than the war.
Many people have asked me what I think about it. I think Will Smith is a great guy, but he’s so conflicted inside. As a young boy, he watched his father beat up his mother, and he froze in fear and didn’t do anything. As a result, he internalized a tremendous amount of guilt and shame around the idea that he didn’t protect his mother. (He goes into great detail about this in his autobiography.) That’s where his rage comes from.
People are trying to make “the slap” about race, culture, hair (Jada’s alopecia), violence, women versus men, etc. But none of that has anything to do with it. Nobody is connecting Will’s reaction to what happened in his childhood. It’s the perfect example of how our childhood stories get played out as an adult. It’s very obvious to me that this is a classic replay of a childhood problem.
In today’s episode, BT and I discuss:
- How violence on the outside is a result of violence on the inside
- How everything Will’s done in his career—and everything with Jada—is the result of him trying to resolve a conflict inside of himself
- How people react to situations is based on whatever programming is being triggered in their minds
- Why the conflict is always on the inside—and when people discover their own humanity and who they really are, the violence will stop
- How people could begin to heal if they looked at their own reactions as a reflection of what’s going on inside of themselves (a projection)—instead of making somebody else wrong
We should all be mindful of why we’re reacting to certain situations. Ask yourself: “What’s going on inside of me that’s causing me to react this way?” Every individual is telling their own made-up story about what’s happening—and justifying their own story.
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